1. i will learn how to love a person and then i will teach you and then we will know

    seen from a great enough distance i cannot be seen
    i feel this as an extremely distinct sensation
    of feeling like shit; the effect of small children
    is that they use declarative sentences and then look at your face
    with an expression that says, ‘you will never do enough
    for the people you love’; i can feel the universe expanding
    and it feels like no one is trying hard enough
    the effect of this is an extremely shitty sensation
    of being the only person alive; i have been alone for a very long time
    it will take an extreme person to make me feel less alone
    the effect of being alone for a very long time
    is that i have been thinking very hard and learning
    about mortality, loneliness, people, society, and love; i am afraid
    that i am not learning fast enough; i can feel the universe expanding
    and it feels like no one has ever tried hard enough; when i cried in your room
    it was the effect of an extremely distinct sensation that ‘i am the only person
    alive,’ ‘i have not learned enough,’ and ‘i can feel the universe expanding
    and making things be further apart
    and it feels like a declarative sentence
    whose message is that we must try harder’

    - from cognitive-behavioral therapy by Tao Lin

    2 years ago  /  Notes